Does anyone else find it curious how some people are always happy, despite what would seem to be a relatively high level of adversity, while others, living supposedly cushy lives, are completely dissatisfied with life?
I think it might have something to do with a recent observation I've made, at least in the case of myself. I am becoming increasingly convinced that while humans come in all different packages, one common thread among us is the need for adversity and struggle in our lives. If we don't have any, we'll make some, even if it means making some up.
I don't mean to downplay the importance of people who are living truly difficult lives. Certain circumstances are completely out of our control. I'm not sure children starving to death in Africa or Asia (or in any part of the world) would choose to be where they are without the prospect of improving their situation. Now, starving children are an extreme example, but others much closer to home deal with the loss of loved ones, serious illness, or otherwise difficult circumstances beyond their control that most would agree make for a difficult life.
That said, let's take the example of some of the people we might consider living the dream life. Born into wealth and fame, they are the movie stars of the world. Everything seems to be going their way, and where do they end up? Drug addiction, the least-stable romantic relationships in recorded history, and high rates of suicide?
With these extremes in mind, let's consider my own life's experience. I'm a senior at a good university in the United States studying what I want to, and I've even changed my mind a few times. I'm living in a wonderful apartment with awesome roommates and neighbors, and I'm just up the street from my friends' place. I have a car, a computer, and I didn't have to work last term because I didn't want to. Last night, I sat out on the lawn with friends eating dessert and talking until midnight because none of us had anything better to do. All that was after going out to dinner and watching a movie and a friend of a friend's apartment.
And somehow, I feel I'm just getting over what has proven to be one of the more difficult moments of life to date. But when I consider what I've gone through, it's hard to complain about my circumstances. I just completed a 3 month dream job in Europe with excellent compensation, I'm on scholarship at my university, and the possibilities for my future are endless. It's just up to me to decide what I want to do.
Now, I suppose there's a lot I'm not saying about my personal life that factors into the mix, but that's just my point. I feel responsible for my personal life. While there are factors of it I can't change, the way I react to my circumstances is entirely up to me. (I suppose that's true for starving children in Africa too, but I wouldn't dare equate the two.) But rather than focusing on the good things in my life, I focus on the negatives. I expend so much energy trying to make everything just right, rather than sitting back and admiring and enjoying all the good things in life.
I've always tried to convince myself that my perspective was skewed, but I observe people all around me doing exactly the same thing I am; that is, taking the good for granted and focusing on the negative. What if we were to devote our time and energy to the good and just let the bad take care of itself? That sounds idealistic, but the good has no problem taking care of itself while I wallow in the negative. I'm not suggesting civic, personal, or family irresponsibility, but I think we could all do with a little less adversity (or at least what we perceive as adversity) in our lives. Why do we create it for ourselves? Or if we're not creating it, why do seemingly minor negative aspects of life dominate our time and energy?
I think it has to do with what is at our core as human beings. Deep inside each of us is a longing to be something better. Whether that translates to being a saint or just improving our situation, we're all always striving for something better.
What are your thoughts?
